What’s doing, journal?
Today was quite a doozy. For starters, Lance McGirk asked Donna McDonald to the Holiday Hop in the hallway, just before the first bell. She was so absolutely worked up about it that she promptly started a rumor that the reason I call myself Blue Robin is because I secretly wish my eyes were blue. Well, that’s not true. I happen to like my own eyes, which are hazel flecked with a nice, cheerful gold, thank you very much! Sometimes I even wear a marigold-hued baseball cap just to enhance my golden flecks, so eat my shorts, Ms. McDonald!
Then Mr. Maneuver gave us a pop quiz in Spanish, and everyone groaned. I think I made a B, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed for a B+. (I hope I didn’t make an F.) Then Chad Loaf rocketed right out of his seat and asked Millie Miller to the Hop right in front of the entire class, including Mr. Maneuver. Maneuver was pretty peeved because this was all on class time, and it’s pretty hard to teach a bunch of teens to habla Espagnol while they’re asking each other to the Hop left and right.
Then the bell rang, ripping Donna McDonald from her slumber (she slept through the entire class, as usual). She was so startled that she immediately started a rumor that reason I’m editor of The West Swedshon Wasp (our yearbook) is because I’m gay (sexually). Personally, I don’t see what one thing has to do with the other. Yes, I’m the editor of the Wasp, because I love a challenge and I’ve got school spirit by the boatload. It has nothing to do with my being a lesbian, and I told her so. Then she said the fact that I wear sneakers “proves” that I’m a “gay-lord,” but that’s a load of bull crap. The fact is that there’s nothing like stepping into a new pair of sneaks and doing some good old calisthenics just to get the juices flowing, so cut me some slack! It’s not like I go around asking girls on dates. Literally, I have never once asked a girl on a date. And anyhow, I’m just a teen. How could I already be gay? I’m still going through puberty. I haven’t even gotten my period yet, for cripes sake! And that’s exactly what I told her!
Then Millie Miller informed me that my outfit was really “low-rent.” Then I went to lunch. In a wacky turn of events, Buck Tight Jimmy asked Deb to the Hop – right there in front of everyone in the cafeteria! I wasn’t sitting with her, because the last time I tried that Deb told me to “take a hike” and Jennifer Chicken laughed rudely. But I saw the whole fiasco from afar. That’s when Jennifer Chicken practically choked on one of her chicken tenders. She turned as red as marinara sauce and she looked like she was going to blow a fuse, like a volcano. Then she told everyone they’d be sorry and stomped out of there like a bat out of hell. You could practically see the lava shooting out of her volcano head. I heard that the reason she was mad was because Buck Tight Jimmy said that the Hot and Steamy Timmy Bones already has a date to the Hop….some “mystery girl.” Take that, Ms. Chicken! (Stay tuned for further details on this matter.)
Later during clubs, Donna McDonald reared her fangs again when she stormed into the yearbook meeting and threatened to start a rumor that I have a huge “mons” unless I put her and the Dudettes on the COVER of the yearbook. I didn’t know “mons” meant, but I didn’t like the sound of it. I looked it up and it is short for “mons pubis,” which is Latin for “pubic mountain,” which means the mound of flesh above your privates! So basically, she plans to tell everyone that I have a huge mound of flesh above my privates! How do ya like that?! Donna McDonald is rude, crude, and lewd. The fact is that SHE is the one with a huge mons – I saw it in swim PE when we all had to wear our bathing suits. And that’s exactly what I told her. She said I was gay for noticing.
“Blue” Robin Tobin
previously: Blue Robin’s Journal Entry 1
To learn more about Blue Robin, visit our characters page and scroll down.
