Lance MaGirk [Treasurer of the Funky Hunks]

Lance Lance Child MaGirk trolls the streets for treasure. This is mainly because he happens to be the official treasurer of the Funky Hunks – the most popular boys at West Swedshon Junior High (to be exact)! As such, Lance is the only one who possesses the key to the secret Funky Hunk treasure chest filled with various bills and coins (which can be used to purchase things). You can often find him wearing jams, culottes, hammer pants and/or a long-sleeved Tee with a large scorpion printed on the chest. Also, he doesn’t leave the house without his trusty coonskin cap that keeps the ladies wanting more. They often ask: “What’s under the coon, Lance?” Answer: his head.

His parents, Glenna and Muggs MaGirk hail from Bourbon, Kentucky where they often indulged in a sip of the old moonshine. They call Lance their “dance child”- hence the name “Lance Child”- because they were dancing in the moonlight when they conceived him. They then hopped into their pickup and drove North, landing in Swedshon, where Muggs could pursue his dream of working in the mines. Glenna keeps busy with her miniature horse collection and by noshing on fresh veggies such as celery and corn.

Lance likes to both repair and ride his bike, which he has adorned with rims, hubcaps, and a windshield (in case of rain). Lance likes: riding his bike around the neighborhood, repairing his bike, jamming to some modern tunes, eating grub, finding treasure and hunting squirrel. Lance doesn’t like: not finding treasure, running, tying his shoes, movie or book.

Meet the whole gang on our characters page

previously: Featured Bio – Galileo Galilei