The Hot & Steamy Timmy Bones [President of the Funky Hunks]
Timothy Bottom Bones was born to Chaz and Playla Bones on a cold and rainy day in March, on his birthday. As Playla pushed him out into the world and Chaz cheered like a cheerful cheerleader, steam began to rise off Timmy’s pint-sized little body, creating a mysterious, romantic effect in the delivery room. From that day forward, he was known as “The Hot and Steamy Timmy Bones,” or simply, “The Bones” for short. Almost as soon as he learned to walk, he began swaggering around the neighborhood on a daily basis. At the age of six, his parents enrolled him in West Swedshon Elementary School’s kindergarten class, where he made waves by turning his chair backwards and straddling it in order to face the front of the classroom, like on Saved by the Bell. It was then that his alpha-male status was confirmed – his life would never be the same.
Along the rocky road to Junior High, he learned very quickly that popularity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s hard work! That’s what caused him to retreat into the world of magic the summer before sixth grade. Magic provided an escape from the daily grind of popularity. Magic never judged him, and magic never pressured him to be something he wasn’t.
Using his allowance, he purchased a beanie baby in the image of a bear with a magician’s cape, wand and top hat. In a stroke of brilliance, he snipped that hat from the tiny bear’s head and fastened atop his own to create his signature look just in time for his debut at Swedshon Middle School. To this day, he wears the tiny top hat as a sign of rebellion. He also wears a codpiece to protect his hearty package from flying projectiles. The Bones was surprised when Deb Webster offered him a week’s allowance in order to start a rumor that she was an undercover fashion model named Doreen, but he took the bait anyway. Then he danced maniacally at an abandoned warehouse for over an hour in order to release the tension of being so popular that she would ask him such a thing in the first place. Things he digs: funky dance routines, busting moves, frenching, motorcross, thunder and lightening. Things he digs not: pressure, phoniness, freakiness and creepiness. And soft drinks, such as cola.
Meet the whole gang <a title=”on our characters page” href=”http://debwebster.wordpress.com/characters/” target=”_self”>on our characters page</a>.
previously: Timmy Bones’ Blog Post
previously: Featured Bio – Mrs. Webster
